Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone finds peace, love and happiness under their tree today!

I miss her!

I've written about how this is my favorite time of year and I am absolutely excited for Christmas. Anyone who reads this, please do not think that I am in any way saddened or upset about the holiday season. But, I must admit that I am sad that I will be spending the holiday without my favorite person. As I wrote earlier in the year Big Granny (my great grandma) left us earlier this year. I always loved going to my grandma's house and sitting and visiting with Big Granny. She always had such neat stories and sweet words. I just can't bare the thought of going to my grandma's house this year and not seeing her sitting at the kitchen table. Some of you know that I am not close with anyone else in my extended family. She was the entire reason I would go over to my grandma's. I would also like to add in here that this is where she did pass. She chose to leave the hospital and go to my grandma's for her final days. They brought the hospice to the house and the family took care of her. The first room you walk in to at the house was where she was in her bed. I have not been back to the house since the days I visited her while she was sick. I'm not sure what is the best thing to do.

Damn Straight!

This may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but I got my arm straight yesterday!!! This is my fourth week of physical therapy. My first week, the straightest I could get my arm was a 65 degree angle. Last night I got to about a 0 degree angle! Of course, I'm not done yet, my arms hyper extend and go to a minus 25 degree angle, but getting it to zero was a great accomplishment. Many tears have been involved! I got to start working on strengthening. I used a one pound weight and could barely do it, but at least I get to start with a weight!

Did you have to share?!

I know this is the giving season and all, but you don't have to share everything! I'll allow you to be selfish! I've been surrounded by people doing everything in their power to get me to try their kind of virus. Now I don't know who I got it from. All I know is, I was sitting wrapping presents last night and Bam! it just hit me. I was fine one minute and the next my eyes started running and my nose immediately plugged up. Now today I'm coughing and having asthma attacks. There was no gradual reaction or warning signs. Of course not, if I had a warning then I could have prevented it. It's a persistent little bug and just had to get me! GRRRR!!!

Weekend

I had a great weekend! My mom's birthday was friday and we had a nice dinner. Then spent some time at the house. We also went to the museum and saw the big Christmas Tree. Michael is new to Nebraska, so it was nice to have someone new to show things to this year. He seemed to enjoy it. But, there is another reason this was such a good weekend. For a very long time now I have been torn with emotions. Guilt, pain, resentment, confusion. I have never been able to express to the person how I felt, always holding it in afraid to hurt him. A lot of the emotions are at another person involved and I have told him how I feel, but he could care less. He's so consumed with himself he doesn't think about anyone else. I'm done with him anyways. I just wish I could get to a point where I don't waste another moment of my thoughts on him. Hopefully some day I will get to that point. I've been told I should forgive but not forget. Well, I want to forget but never forgive. Why should he be forgiven, he doesn't care! Anyway, I got off track. Back to the person I was meaning to talk about. I finally wrote a letter and expressed how I feel, all the things that have hurt me. He read my letter and we met for lunch over the weekend and had a very long talk. I will tell you, honesty is the best policy! Getting things out and talking about it was the best thing we could have ever done! I feel like 100 pounds have been lifted off of me, I'm no longer dragging the refrigerator behind me! And this person even went to the other person involved to tell him how I feel. Not that the other person cares, but it made me feel better to be supported. That's all I ever wanted. I don't expect people to understand or to sympathize for me or treat me any different. The only thing I ask for is support and I finally feel I have that. I really hope things have changed for the long term this time! Thank you to those of you who have listened and helped me through this lately. You will never know what it meant to me to have you there!

ZZZZZ

I wanted to put a good post today. But, all I can think about is sleep!! I'm soooo tired! Will someone take a nap for me please?! I know I don't have time for one.

They smell as good as they look!

I received flowers at work on Friday. They were so pretty I had to share. The sent of evergreen can fill a room. Thank you Michael, I love them!

Kristen in a dress?!?!?!

Michael had a work party. It wasn't the most exciting of events, but like always, we made the best of it and had a good time. Most of you never see me dressed up, so here it is. Now you can see why I don't do it often. (as a side note, that's as far as my right arm bends, but it was exciting to get it that far, it's progress!)

Pretty in Pink

I have to admit, I am feeling extra girly today. This is not something I would usually admit. My tomboy softball coach/player side of me hates to admit that I have turned in to a woman. But, I have my finger nails painted today, something I haven't done in years. I love to paint my toes, but don't usually take it the extra yard and paint the fingers. But, I am wearing a very beautiful dress and wanted all of me to fit the part. It's just odd to see my hands and see color on the nails, so I figured I'd write about it. :-)

Christmas Survery

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
-- hot chocolate w/ lots of cool whip Mmm...

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?
-- not wrapped

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
-- white on the tree, colored on the house

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
-- We did growing up, but I haven't done it yet. I think I will this year

5. When do you put your decorations up?
-- the weekend after Thanksgiving

6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
-- We do chili on Christmas Eve, I love that!

7. Favorite Christmas memory as a child?
-- When we made my dad go on a scavenger hunt for his present (he got really mad, but it was fun to us). It was golf clubs and bag, it wouldn't fit under tree without being obvious.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
-- 4th grade? Not really sure how though

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
-- yes, we've always done our gifts with my mom on Christmas Eve

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
-- with lights and ornaments and a star on top

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
-- I love to see fresh snow sparkling in the sunlight (when I'm nice and cozy inside), but hate driving in it and hate the cold

12. Can you ice skate?
-- yes, but am scared when I skate on a frozen lake, I fear falling in

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
-- my doll house

14. What's your favorite thing about the holidays?
-- the lights and decorations and people seem to get in the spirit of the holiday for a longer time frame than other holidays and seem to be in good spirits. If only people could be that nice all year round.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
-- my grandma usually brings pies, I like chocolate cream pie

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
-- driving around with hot chocolate and looking at all the lights

17. What tops your tree?
-- a golden star

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
-- Silent Night (I love playing it on my violin)

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
-- yum

21. What's number one on your Christmas list this year?
-- didn't really ask for anything this year. I just want things to be better than Thanksgiving (most of you know that dilemma)

New View

I got my new glasses last night! I really like them. They are very different for me. I actually would have never expected myself to pick these out. But, I do really like them. I have been doing this whole, try things I wouldn't normally try. I've now tried a lot of really good food I would have NEVER thought about trying. I've learned I like escargot, lamb, artichoke, asparagus, spinach. Just to name a few. And that's just food, there are many other things in my life I've tried. Sometimes it turns out good, sometimes bad. But, how will you know if you don't try right? Anyways, I'm off track. Below is a picture of the new glasses. The green isn't actually as noticable when they are on, just the green design on the front. But, when I'm looking out, I see the green frames on the inside. It's really odd, definitely going to take some getting used to.

Look Ma, Two Hands!!!

I meant to post this last week, but just couldn't find the time. I got out of my sling last week. Unfortunately, my elbow locked up a bit and the farthest I could sraighten my arm was at a 60 degree angle. So, I'm not doing physical therapy a couple times a week. I love my physical therapist though, she's a lot of fun. I worked with her right after the accident. So, it's been like catching up with an old friend. It's coming along, I think I'm at about a 25 degree angle now. I also have a tight wrap on my arm that is helping the swelling go down and a patch on my scar to help make the scar soften and heal faster. So, that is going well. It's a ton of pain, but I know it will be worth it, so I'm pushing through it and not holding back. I know my limitations and won't do anything to cause damage though.