Weekend

I had a great weekend! My mom's birthday was friday and we had a nice dinner. Then spent some time at the house. We also went to the museum and saw the big Christmas Tree. Michael is new to Nebraska, so it was nice to have someone new to show things to this year. He seemed to enjoy it. But, there is another reason this was such a good weekend. For a very long time now I have been torn with emotions. Guilt, pain, resentment, confusion. I have never been able to express to the person how I felt, always holding it in afraid to hurt him. A lot of the emotions are at another person involved and I have told him how I feel, but he could care less. He's so consumed with himself he doesn't think about anyone else. I'm done with him anyways. I just wish I could get to a point where I don't waste another moment of my thoughts on him. Hopefully some day I will get to that point. I've been told I should forgive but not forget. Well, I want to forget but never forgive. Why should he be forgiven, he doesn't care! Anyway, I got off track. Back to the person I was meaning to talk about. I finally wrote a letter and expressed how I feel, all the things that have hurt me. He read my letter and we met for lunch over the weekend and had a very long talk. I will tell you, honesty is the best policy! Getting things out and talking about it was the best thing we could have ever done! I feel like 100 pounds have been lifted off of me, I'm no longer dragging the refrigerator behind me! And this person even went to the other person involved to tell him how I feel. Not that the other person cares, but it made me feel better to be supported. That's all I ever wanted. I don't expect people to understand or to sympathize for me or treat me any different. The only thing I ask for is support and I finally feel I have that. I really hope things have changed for the long term this time! Thank you to those of you who have listened and helped me through this lately. You will never know what it meant to me to have you there!